3:23 George Broadfoot explains to Flashman that he will pretend to be a lawyer in the matter of the legacy of Raja Soochet and that he would be required to argue and defend the British actions. Flashman's response: "I've only been to court twice in my life!" Drunk and resisting arrest and being apprehended on premises known to be a disorderly house, five quid each.
3:42 George Broadfoot telling Flashman where to leave messages:
3:52-53 Broadfoot describing what he meant when he stated that Maharani Jeedan seemed set on destroying herself by vicious indulgence: "Debauchery, with men." He gave a Presbyterian sniff, hesitating, no doubt, to sully my boyish mind. "She has an incurable lust - what the medicos call nymphomania. It's driven her to unspeakable excesses ... not only with every man of rank in Lahore, but slaves and sweepers too. Her present favourite is Lal Singh, a powerful general - although I hear she abandoned him briefly of late for a stable lad who robbed her of ten lakhs of jewels." I was so shocked I couldn't think what to say except easy come, easy go.
4:4 Flashman describes the weather at Ferozepore, India: ... it was hotter than hell's pavement; you boiled when it rained, and you baked when it didn't.
4:19 Jassa's opinion of Sikhs: "The Sikh speaks, the cobra spits - who grows fat on the difference?"
4:23 Flashman reflecting on criticism regarding imperial wars after being awestruck by the size and equipment of the Khalsa: That's worth bearing in mind when you hear some smart alec holding forth about our imperial wars being one-sided massacres of poor club-waving heathen mown down by Gatlings.
5:80 Flashman, looking for an escape route from the balcony of his apartment in the Sleeping Palace: ... it was a long drop, four storeys at least, to the enclosed court, high enough to make my crotch contract;
5:122 Flashman's (lack of) reaction to Jawaheer Singh's insults: I dare say I should have been embarrassed, but with a couple of quarts of mixed brandy and puggle inside me, I didn't mind one bit ... I had deeper concerns: I was suddenly thirsty again, and beginning to feel so monstrous randy that if Lady Sale had happened by she'd have had to look damn lively, rheumatics and all.
5:125-126 Flashman comparing the sexual attraction of Mai Jeedan to other women that he has known: Here and there in my memiors I've remarked on the attraction of the female sex, and how it's seldom a matter of beauty alone. There are breathtakers like Elspeth and Lola and Yehonala whom you can't wait to chivvy in the shrubbery; equally classic creatures (Angie Burdett-Coutts, for example, or the Empress of Austria) who are as exciting as cold soup but appeal to the baser aesthetic senses; and plain Janes who could start a riot in a monastery. In each case, Aphrodite or the governess, the magic is different, you see; there is always some unique charm or singular attraction, and it can be hard define. In Jeendan, though, it stood out a mile: she was simply the lewdest-looking strumpet I ever saw in my life ... you could have covered this one in sackcloth in the front row of the church choir, and they'd still have ridden her out of town on the rail ... Arnold could have got enough sermons out of her to last the half.
5:129 Flashman describing how Mai Jeedan checked him out: ... she was too languid with drink to do more than struggle up on one elbow, pushing her masseur away to view me better, slowly up and down - it reminded me of being on the slave-block in Madagascar, when no one bought me, rot them.
5:132-133 Flashman describes the situation he finds himself in at the Court of Lahore: By this time I was beginning to feel a trifle confused myself, having in short order survived an assassination plot - what a long time along ago it seemed - been filled with strong waters and (I suspect) aphrodisiac, trotted up and down by a half-naked slave girl, verbally assailed in public by the Wazir of the Punjab, and indecently ogled by his druken fleshtrap of a sister. Now I was discussing, more or less coherently, the merits of the latest Congreve rockets with two knowledgeable military men, while a yard away the Queen Regent was being dried off by her attendants and protesting tipsily, and at my back a vigorous ballet was being danced by a score of young chaps in turbans and baggy trousers, with the orchestra going full steam. I was new to Lahore, of course, and not au fait with their easygoing ways.
5:155 Flashman describing one of the dancing troupes that entertained at the Lahore Court: The first of these was a troupe of Kashmiri girls, spanking little creatures in scanty silver armour, with bows and toy swords, who cavorted in a parody of military drill which would have scandalised the General Staff and terrified their horses.
5:157 Flashman's opinion on orgies: It's not the indecency I mind, but the company of a lot of boozy brutes hallooing and kicking up the deuce of a row when I want to concentrate and give of my best. A regular bacchanalia is something to see, right enough, but I'm with the discriminating Frog who said that one is interesting, but only a cad would make a habit of it.
6:69 Flashman contemplating the choice between sleep (which he saw as the temptation) and sex: For a moment I was tempted. Altogether used up, fit only for the knacker's yard, I wanted sleep as I wanted salvation ... I thought: to thine own self be true, and put temptation aside.
7:14 Lal Singh describing Mai Jeedan to Flashman: "She is no one's mistress but her own. Let us fortunate fellows thank God for it."
8:6 Flashman's thoughts on suttee - the India ritual of burning a dead man's (live) women on his funeral pyre: I can't abide wanton cruelty to good-looking women. Not by other folk, anyway.
8:34 Flashman's thoughts on Mai Jeedan's clothing: ... a dancing girl's costume which, in any civilised society, would have led to her arrest for breach of the peace ... had evidently been designed for a well-grown dwarf I could only wonder how she'd been squeezed into them without bursting a seam.
8:99 Flashman comparing Mai Jeedan's promiscuity to other women: ... have never met such a blantant strumpet in my life - well, Ranavalona, of course but you don't have expect coy flirtation from a female ape. Montez hadn't been one to stand on ceremony either, crying "On Guard!" and brandishing her hairbrush, and Mrs. Leo Lade could rip the britches off you with a sidelong glance, but neither had paraded their dark desires as openly as this tipsy little houri.
8:118 Flashman's thoughts on women who want to be dominating in bed: If they want to play the princess lording over the poor peasant, let'em; it puts them on their mettle, and saves you no end of hard work. I've known any number of the imperious bitches, and the secret is to let them set the pace, hold back until they've shot their bolt, and then give'em more than they bargained for.
9:2 Flashman summing up three days of constant sex with Mai Jeedan: We may have set a record, but I didn't keep tally (some Yankee would be sure to claim best, anyway).
9:21 Flashman's response to Jassa's prediction of a war within the next month: ... if there's one thing I bar it's croakers disturbing my peace of mind, especially when they're leery coves who know their business.
9:21 Flashman describing the boredom of arguing the Soochet legacy: I was bored to the point where I almost wrote Elspeth.
9:42 The result of Flashman's effort to get information about the Khalsa from Mangla: ... when Mangla continued to protest ignorance I got a bate and swore that if she didn't talk sense I'd thrash it out of her - at which she clapped her hands and offered to get my belt.
9:66 Flashman describing the feelings about "going native" in Lahore: ... with a well-known hollow feeling in my innards, set off on my reluctant way.
9:70 Flashman finding a seat at the French Soldier's Cabaret in Lahore: I found a stool between two beauties who'd evidently been sleeping in a camel stable.
9:72 Flashman's approach to travel at night in enemy territory: I glanced about to mark lines of flight, and went cautiously in.
9:74 An additonal description of Flashman's approach to travel at night in enemy territory: Coward's instinct, if you like, but if I'm still here and in good health, bar my creaky kidneys and a tendency to wind, it's because I shy at motes, never mind beams - and I don't walk straight in where I can scout first.
9:76 Flashman describing his flight from a trap: ... that this was a trap, and my head was all but in its jaws, and nothing for it but instant flight. You don't stop to reason how or why at times like that - you grit your teeth to keep'em from chattering, and back away slowly ... with your innards dissolving, taking care not to rustle the leaves ... treading on a stick that snaps with a report like a bloody howitzer, and you squeal and leap three feet ..
9:77 Flashman describing panic flight: ... like a fox with an arseful of buckshot.
9:131-132 Flashman's actions while his companion Goolab was being attacked: ... I danced around making shrill noises and looking for a chance to pink him - until it occurred to me that there were better uses for my time than this, and I turned tail up the nearest alley. Well. Goolab had said each for himself, but I won't pretend that I've ever needed leave to bolt.
9:132 Flashman describing Goolab and Bibi dealing with an attacker he called the Second Robber: ... where Goolab and the widow could be seen apparently disembowelling the Second Robber, who wasn't taking it quietly.
10:50 Flashman after escaping from being tortured: ... and suddenly all my pain and fear and bewilderment vanished in overwhelming blind rage (as often happens when I've been terrified to death and reckon I'm safe).
11:1 Flashman dealing with lunatics: If life has taught me anything at all, it's how to keep my countenance in the presence of strong, authoritative men whose rightful place is in a padded cell. ... Many of them men of genius, no doubt, but all sharing the delusion that they could put any proposal, however lunatic, to young Flashy and make him like it. There's no arguing with such fellows, of course; all you can do, if you're lucky, is nod and say: "Well, sir, that's an interesting notion, to be sure - just before you tell me more about it, would you excuse me for a moment?" and once you're around the corner, make for high ground. I've seldom had that chance, unfortunately, and there's nothing for it but to sit with an expression of attentive idiocy trying to figure a way out.
11:23 Flashman: ... all's ill that ends ill.
12:4 Flashman's plan to use an injury as an excuse: Well, whatever befell, I'd just have to play my game leg for all it was worth, and keep well clear of the action.
12:9 Flashman describing the demeanor of Lal Singh before the first battle: ... he was like a virgin with vapors.
12:13 Flashman thoughts on Lal Singh's cowardly behavior: I'd always thought myself God's own original coward, but this fellow could have given me ten yards in the hundred, and won screaming.
12:36 Flashman's reaction to Lal Singh cowardness: D'you know, that steadied me - encountering a liver whiter than my own. Well, it don't happen that often.
13:1 Flashman describing his reaction to Littler: I can't recall a man who scared the innards out of me, and yet was so reassuring, all in one go.
13:57 Flashman playing along with Broadfoot's opinion that he (Flashman) would want to be in a calvary charge the next day: "Yes, yes!" cries I, all eagerness, feeling ready to puke.
13:64 Flashman's reaction to Broadfoot's plan to send him back to Lahore during the war: Fortunately, perhaps, I was speechless. I just stared ... and he took silence for consent, when in truth it didn't even signify comprehension. The whole thing was to monstrous for words, while I sat open-mouthed he laughed and clapped me on the back.
14:49 Flashman's reaction watching the British forces being carved up as they attacked Ferozeshah: ... and I thanked God I was here and not there as I led the rocketeers in three cheers for our gallant comrades, before being borne back into the shade to a well-earned breakfast of bread and brandy.
15:20 Flashman describing the results of his role in the Battle of Ferozeshah (arranging for the Sikhs to lose): ... two men had saved the day - Gough and I. I ain't bragging; you know I never do (well, maybe about women and horses, but never about small things).
15:30 Flashman describing the circumstances under which he seemed to always see Gravedigger Havelock: I never seemed to see that man but he was calling on God for something or other; possibly it was the sight of me that did it.
15:37 Flashman on the British military leaders that shaped the empire: It's an odd thing about deadly men - they're all addicted either to God or the Devil, and I ain't sure but what the holy ones aren't the more fatal breed of the two.
16:100 Flashman on running: If I'm a firm believer in headlong flight as a rule, it's probably because I've known such a horrid variety of pursers in my time ... no wonder my hair's white.
18:1 Flashman on death of an enemy: And if you tell me that every man's death diminishes me, I'll retort that it diminishes him a hell of a lot more.
18:31 Flashman pondering of the judgement of character: When I think of the number of eminent men - and women - who have taken me at face value, and formed a high opinion of my character and abilities, it makes my tremble for my country's future. I mean, if they can't spot me as a wrong'un, who can they spot?
18:86 Heart's desire, Flashman style: A whole skin and a clear run home.